NIKKI SIXX: 'I'm Going To Live Life To The Fullest'

Andrew Dansby of the Houston Chronicle recently conducted an interview with MÖTLEY CRÜE bassist Nikki Sixx. A few excerpts from the chat follow:

Houston Chronicle: This is pretty close-to-home stuff. Did you have any anxieties about letting such frank writing go public?

Sixx: Y'know, either I'm completely numb or maybe it's just the motto I live by, which is whatever people think about me is none of my business. These were my diaries, that was then, this is now. Maybe they'll help somebody else. I didn't edit them; I didn't worry about parts that made me look bad. I can't tell how many people come up to me at events, even CEOs and financial types, who want to talk about how to get out of addiction. I'm hoping the book shows people they can come out the other side. There's a bigger picture than being bass player in a band.

Houston Chronicle: Did you leave anything out?

Sixx: If you knew me personally, you would have never asked that question. (Laughs.) I'm not real good at leaving things unsaid. This is the truth. If it upsets people, I'm sorry. I wrote down what I was feeling at that time. And I allowed those around me to comment (in the book) with what they felt was their truth. I think it paints a well-rounded story. I wanted to let many voices tell one story to get a true understanding of what addiction can be, will be and will always be.

Houston Chronicle: You seemed strangely functional given the amount of chemical abuse.

Sixx: Heroin addicts are extremely clever and extremely functional. William Burroughs took his addiction to his grave. He was the gentleman junkie. He wrote books. Nobody would say he's a dysfunctional person.

Houston Chronicle: It seems making a record high would be a difficult undertaking.

Sixx: Go to SoundScan on "Girls Girls Girls" (1987) and "Dr. Feelgood" (1989) and ask, "Why did this one sell three times as many copies?"

We made "Feelgood" sober. The band looked and sounded its best. It's amazing what happens when all the cylinders are firing.

Houston Chronicle: Have you ever tried to estimate how much money you blew on dope?

Sixx: Millions. (Laughs.) But it's like crying over spilt milk there.

It was stupid behavior with stupid results. You could spend years thinking, "If I'd done lower-grade drugs, I could've saved $100,000." Or "if I'd always injected instead of smoked, I could've saved 200 grand after taxes." Drug addicts don't think like that. They think it will never end.

Houston Chronicle: You spent a lot of time locked in a closet high, paranoid and with a shotgun. Is your home closet-free now?

Sixx: (Laughs.) You'd think that, but no. I think I still have a little love for closets. They're dark and dank. They keep secrets. That was a dark time, but I can't complain. Or blame the closet.

Houston Chronicle: Your journaling was as persistent as your addiction. They almost seem like counterparts. Did it give you hope? Was it a discipline?

Sixx: I don't think a discipline as much as a necessity. I was hanging on by my fingertips on the edge. It was the only thing that gave me strength to hold on another day, the relationship with a pen and paper. That kept me from slipping.

Houston Chronicle: Having flatlined before, do you think about death a lot? Not at all? Average amount?

Sixx: The concept of death is completely not on my plate. To me what's special is life. How much (butt) can I kick in a short period of time. In the end, I'll keep going on. My kids' kids' kids can tell stories about their great-grandfather who was a musician. That's one of the main reasons I have so many skulls tattooed on me. They remind where I'm going. And I know I'm gonna go. That's part of the journey. So I enjoy the path I'm on now. I'm paying my taxes and I'm gonna die like everybody else. In the meantime I'm going to live life to the fullest.